Absence makes the heart grow fonder.

Can you believe that it's already november, or that thanksgiving is right around the corner? i honestly can't. this semester has FLOWN by. i'm almost done with my first semester of college, i still feel like i just graduated yesterday. the past three and half months have honestly been the hardest, and most trying times for my faith...and yet i know they have been the most rewarding.

As i approach the two year mark of being set free, never would I have thought that i would be 1,205 miles away from my home. i'm in utter amazement of what God has called me to and how He's changed my heart to want to be here and to be doing what i love. i told my self this would not be a place for me to pour my heart out but a place for telling what I need prayers for. 

well right now i need prayer to stay strong. tears of joy are falling down as i think about being able to hug justin after three and a half months. honestly, i feel like i've forgotten what it looks like for us to be holding hands or to be hugging. i know it may seem like i'm being a silly girl, but the next four days could not go by any faster. I've also come to realize that i love hugs, i knew i did before, but in a place where i don't know very many people enough to give them hugs, one simple hug makes my heart ache. anytime i see my best friend kim we literally run and hug each other. honestly, justin has become one of my best friends and i can imagine thats what justin and i's hug will look like, and i will also most likely be crying. You better believe i'm going to cherish the full 75(ish) hours i have in VA. 

the one thing i have learned is to appreciate every moment i have with my loved ones. 

which brings me to next friday night

you better believe one week from today at this time i will be laying in none other than

katie my favorite ever's bed. 

(which is still her name in my phone after a year +)

i will probably be crying when i see and talk to her too, oh how i have missed my sweet friend so much. oh how i have missed going to school sporting events with her and just hanging out at starbucks and being carefree. i miss having sleepovers at her house and sitting with her while she cleans her kitchen which is always when i happen to be there haha.

and the night i get home i will get to see none other than the magnificent MIRANDA!

oh how we have become so close as we spur each other on, once again at different schools, now hundreds of miles apart, but still as if we lived 10 minutes away from each other. The Lord has been so sweet to me, He has certainly provided for me at home. 

pray for patience, and for strength in God. 

it will be so hard to leave these sweet friends although it will only be for a few weeks before i'm reunited with them over winter break. i was heart broken before i left when i got to see them everyday, i can't imagine how it's going to feel to leave again after being home. pray that God will give me the strength and passion to come back here to denton. i love this place but oh how i wish my friends were here to experience it with me. 

Take me back: the struggle is real

These past few weeks have been a real struggle for me, I couldn't tell you why now because I just feel so overwhelmed with joy and passion. I just finished Redeeming Love by Francine Rivers, I've been unable to put it down these past couple days because I couldn't remember the ending from when I read it like 6 months ago. If you haven't read this book, I strongly recommend it. This book reminded me of forgiveness, and being brought from death to life and just unending love.

This past weekend my high school in virginia went to Fall weekend at the Young Life camp Rockbridge. Rockbridge holds a special place in my heart because that's where i accepted Christ almost two years ago. (It will be two years on november 21!) Since fall weekend of my junior year, I've been back for summer camp, august work crew, fall weekend (again), weekend work crew, and prayer over night. Each time i've gone back my relationship has grown and become sweeter.

This weekend my high school took about 40 kids and the area brought about 160. I desperately wish  i could've been there to experience fall weekend again and see the Lord work in these girls' lives. One thing that has been so hard for me is having to leave Virginia and the Young Life community. The college students in VA often get to go to Rockbridge and do weekend Work crew and some of my friends got to do that this weekend and I felt a twinge of jealousy, because I will never get to do that. One of things I looked forward to in High school was getting to do that, and my heart breaks anytime mentions this on twitter or pictures on instagram. I so desperately want to go back and experience this and be with friends in community.

One thing I've realized and Redeeming Love has helped me to see this, is that God has called me to Texas and He has prepared me for my circumstances. In high school, I was one of the only girl seniors at my school  to follow Christ and at my school my community consisted of my YL leader and the other senior guys, which wasn't exactly the type of community i needed. However, I did have Miranda and caitlin who went to the other two high schools so I am thankful for that. Any ways back to the point, God has prepared me for the lack of community here in Denton by my lack of community in high school. This was really hard for me to accept because nothing did I want more was to finally have a community to lean on and be with. I've realized now that I've been so obsessed with having people pour into me that I have become selfish and have forgotten about those who need to be loved and poured into.

My passion is blooming and I can feel God working in my heart and finally giving me peace about being here. The weekends are the hardest part for me about being here. I know that this is where I am supposed to be, while that could change I know that this is will make me stronger for my future. Weekends have become harder and harder and I've been trying to control my excitement that Thanksgiving is only two weekends away. Is it bad that I get this excited about going home? I miss my bed, I miss my dogs, I miss my parents food, I miss being lazy, I miss Justin, I miss katie, I miss miranda, I miss Young Life, I miss Hickory, I miss all my babies at Hickory. Words cannot explain the joy that fills my heart when I think about going home. I can tell you right now there will be alot of crying that weekend but certainly tears of joy and not sorrow.

Please be praying, that I stay in the present that my heart would continue to reach out to girls here. Some of my sorority sisters have shown interest in Young Life. I also have been praying about a way to lead or where to lead. Pray for patience, and for peace and comfort. Pray that I would continue to lean on God for strength. Also pray that I continue to trust God with everything in my life right now.