Well i'm going to start off by giving you an update about how I've been doing recently... so the past few weeks i've had an awful cough and it was worse but I slept it off last weekend the question is can I keep it away. I've been dealing with hives and swollen hands, they've seemed to disappear for now but who knows with this cold front this week.
This past week I found out my Great grandma died. She was 98, and had been sick with pneumonia. It was time and she's now out of pain. I think what's hardest for me is that I've had multiple opportunities to go visit her these past couple years and thought ill just go next time and last I heard Granny was doing well. And now it seems I've ran out of time. I'm having a hard time forgiving myself but I know she's watching down on me and is feeling alive and well again up in heaven.
It's hard to imagine actually, I found out a week before Wednesday that Granny wasn't doing well. I tried to focus on my school work but when I got the call I just felt like life stopped around me. My DG sister Alex comforted me while I cried at the library. She gave me an awesome hug and I couldn't be more thankful for her in that moment.
I'm still searching for my place here at UNT. Gods been revealing so many things to me and I couldn't be happier but as each week progresses I find myself missing home more and more. Each weekend gets harder and harder. I find myself getting caught up in Instagram and twitter and Facebook. Looking at what everyone else is doing and just reminding myself that I'm a thousand miles away from home. I'm thankful for my grandparents but ill never know what's its like to drive and meet friends on the weekends. I won't get to spend the night in my bed until thanksgiving. And then not again until January. I find myself craving real conversation and genuine laughter but I don't think I've found anyone yet.
These next three weeks until thanksgiving are going to be very long and stressful. Please be praying for a community and people I can be real with and turn to when I'm struggling for encouragement. I can't do this on my own, and I know sometimes I still rely on myself when I need to be relying on God.
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