Believe

Sometimes when I think of the word believe I think of the movie Polar Express when the little boy has a ticket that says believe punched in to it. Something that God has been putting on my heart alot is to just believe and trust him. I find myself wondering if God will do something for me what I need to do is believe that he will do soemthing. One of the guys in my campaigner group always brings up how our relationship with God should be almost child-like where we just have such innocence and believe everything that our Father tells us.

I just watched some workcrew videos which filled my heart with joy when I watched how much fun we were having. Sometimes I wish that I hadn't spent my experience sleeping the whole time... The bonds that I made could be so much stronger right now. I miss having so many girls to talk to for support and to support. One thing that's so hard for me is the lack of community that the girls have at Hickory. My one goal for the year is that we will get together once a week and be able to hang out without thinking about school work, boys or anything distracting. I hope by the end of the year the girls at Hickory have changed and they realize they're not alone and that the school can change as long as they are willing to change too. I dont want girls to be discouraged because they don't have anyone to love them and support them. That just makes my heart want to break. It's hard for me to do it but God has gotten me through it and my younglife leader has certainly helped.

In a few weeks I will have my one year anniversary of being in a relation with God. November 21. The things that have changed in the past year are unbelievable. He has changed my heart to love differently. He has changed my eyes to see things differently. And He has called me to do so many things that I never expected I would be doing. This time last year I felt alone, I felt unloved. All I wanted was to be accepted and to be known. I was searching for something but I didnt know what it was. When I went to fall weekend, I found what I was looking for. All I remember from that weekend is that I cried every night at cabin time. I was so vulnerable to these girls that I didn't know and they didn't judge me for it. He loved me through them, through my Younglife leader and through everyone else at camp. With the next fall weekend approaching I hope that the girls in my cabin get to experience what I did. I hope that they are as vulnerable as I was and that they listen closely to what God is calling them there for.