Shine bright

"If you decide for God, living a life of God-worship, it follows that you don't fuss about what's on the table at mealtimes or whether the clothes in your closet are in fashion. There is far more to your life than the food you put in your stomach, more to your outer appearance than the clothes you hang on your body. Look at the birds, free and unfettered, not tied down to a job description, careless in the care of God. And in you count far more to him than birds."  -Matthew 6:25-26

Something that God has been putting on my heart a lot is my appearance of myself and sometimes I find myself slipping back into my old habits where I just beat myself up for things that I cant control. I find myself doing it alot when I get on facebook and look at my friends or look at my old pictures. It's hard for me to look at cheer pictures. It makes me cringe. I think i understand why God chose work crew over cheer, it's just hard for me to accept when it's something i've wanted forever; but it's not a good want. It consumed me, my thoughts, my attitude. Little by little though, God reminds me what I live for. He reminds me that the only opinion that matters is his. Sometimes I forget. Actually, I forget all the time. I find it really hard to watch people with their boyfriends. I find it really hard to watch chick flicks now. It's not until after that I remember that guys aren't everything anymore. That he is is all I need to shine bright and be happy from the inside out.

Tomorrow we have a senior assembly for cap and gowns; we also get nominations for senior superlatives. I really want to be nominated for best hair; but it's almost as if I know I won't get it because God wants to show me that it doesnt matter. Some of the things I have wanted my entire life will happen this year but only if he allows it. My heart's desires are in his hands. God has been teaching me to really give everything over to him. To let him hear from me that I am struggling. On days that I do that, I can trually feel God's love working and spreading from within me. His light shines through me and keeps me young, as I continue to grow older.